So, smut. I’ve been sitting on this chapter all day, waiting for the right moment. Smut, more than any other type of writing needs to be done when I’m in just the right mood. Not in the mood and you get Harlequin Romance level smut with talk of throbbing manhoods and her love tunnel and other lame analogies.

I seem to write my best smut at night. It’s hard to write it when I’m yelling at two rather adorable dogs, or having a conversation with the family. That is not an environment conducive to dirty thoughts. So I have to wait until the cover of night. Which is why it is now 1:30 in the morning and I’m wide awake because I just finished two hours of writing.

As my frequent readers will probably have figured out, I have a thing for bondage. lol. I especially like the idea of surrendering to your partner. Now, where House and Cuddy are concerned, I really can’t imagine House surrendering anything. Honestly, he isn’t secure enough to do so. I think he feels that there is so little in his life he can really control that he wouldn’t be able to give up sexual control in the bedroom. Cuddy, on the other hand, her whole life has been wrapped up in control. Her whole life has been wrapped up in a career the basis of which is power and control. But part of what little we know of her is that her password is PartyPants. That implies a wild side. I can see her being more willing, of the two, to surrender to her lover.

For her it’s a release. The one thing she doesn’t have to worry about, but, as you see, she’s not just going to give it up freely. There’s a little fight in there. The hard part is balancing the fight with the surrender. I don’t want it too seem like she is fighting for her life, nor do I want her to seem like too much of a push over.

But like all areas of Huddy, she knows just how much to push him before letting him have his way. So in the end, she does still have the control, but House also gets the illusion of control. Both of them end up happy and satisfied.

This will be short because, there’s not much to say and it’s late. I am not happy with the title of this chapter, but I am determined to stick with the Moz/Smiths theme until the end. I’ve got some hundred or so more song titles to choose from. LOL

It was fun to write House and Wilson in a porn shop, though it wasn’t as much of a challenge to keep it PG-13 for the Fox board as I had expected. I just love writing them bumming around and being friends, but I had to clear the air.

I don’t like writing long, drawn out fights. I’m fine at the inner angst stuff, but I don’t do verbal fights well unless it’s banter. So this might have seemed abrupt, but I do think it fits with the characters and the path they’ve taken. They have, on the show, had their long, drawn out, drag out, knock down fight over Amber’s death. They know now what it feels like to not be in each others lives and they want to prevent that from happening again.

From the start Wilson’s inviting House to dinner with Gabby was a bad idea on Wilson’s part and it seems that he had to have known that, so he can’t really be completely mad at House for doing what he wanted House to do. So they’ve made up. All the hard feelings might not be gone, but they need each other and so they have to keep them burried.

As for Foreman, man was that little bugger hard to get rid of, until I rewatched a few eps on the House marathon today and realized that Foreman is miserable in his job. He’s been wasted as a doctor and the only reason he originally came back was because no one else would hire him. So what if somebody would? Wouldn’t he jump at the chance?

I like the idea of having Cuddy get Foreman the new job. It’s something she would do. House did as he was asked and hired a new team, including the one guy she asked him to hire, so she’s throwing him a bone as it were. She’s compromising, which is something she does a lot better than House. She knows he’s going to give her a hard time about it, but I don’t think she would have it any other way. That might be part of the reason why she did it.

It is done. House has a new team. Granted, it’s not the team I mentioned earlier, but that’s how I roll. Things change constantly. So, the new team.

Oliver Pike is pretty much the same guy I planned on. Though I did end up using the trust fund baby on him. For those who watch Psych, he’s a little bit Shawn Spencer and a little bit House. House is intrigued by him because he doesn’t give a shit, something House oddly admires. Whether he actually lasts with his carefree attitude is another story.

Lexa Chen is pretty much what I wanted, a hooker House knew from his past. She’s Chinese now because I like how the name sounds. Chen is also short for Chenowith. (I love her). Her issue is, she’s just not going to be that great a doctor. But House wants her there to bother Cuddy. It might end up being a battle of wills between House and Cuddy, whether she stays or not.

Christine Noble is smarter than House. I’ve always been interested in what would happen if he met someone smarter than him. She might not be as observant, I’m not sure yet how that will play out, but knowledge wise, she is smarter. She’s got a photographic memory. She remembers everything she reads. she is also not, never was and never will be attracted in House. He’s just not her type. It’ll be a relationship a bit like House and Amber but without any undercurrent of attraction, which I felt there was there.

Sophie was fun to write. A part of me wants to bring her back, but I don’t think I could build a story around her. She is named after two of Gina Bellman’s characters, sort of. Sophie is her character on Leverage, a show I HIGHLY recommend. Taylor is from Steve Taylor on Coupling (another show I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend. Funny as all hell, not the US remake, the original British version). Anyway, Gina played Jane Christie, but Sophie Christie sounded bad to me so I went with her ex-boyfriends last name. My mind is complicated like that.

Oh, as for Christine Noble. Christine is a bit player on Primeval (which I do not recommend unless you are a fan of cheesy CGI) and Noble is my second favorite character of all time, Donna Noble from Dr. Who. I always like to honor people/characters I like in the names of my original characters. You should see the list of names I went through to come up with these three. Lexa just popped into my head. I thought it sounded sexy. lol As for her ‘work’ name, Mei is supposedly beauty in Mandarin, at least according to the Internet which is where I get all my translations.

It was fun helping House come up with some strange ways to get rid of candidates, but I’m glad it’s over. Hopefully the team will settle in nicely so I can focus on more important things, like Huddy.

In my mind, there is a distinct difference between liking and loving someone. I love my family.I care if they live or die, but I don’t like most of them. I wouldn’t seek out their company. On the official House board there have been a few threads that seem to be delving into whether Cuddy and House like each other, if they are friends. This chapter, the end of it at least, shows how I feel about it.

I really do believe that Cuddy likes House because of his antics as much as anything else about him. I’ve never felt she was trying to change him or make him less of an ass. She just tries to moderate it so he doesn’t get himself killed or imprisoned. But the way LE plays the role, Cuddy definitely enjoys House just the way he is.

So I tested that a little, having House be a real jerk to Wilson. But then, I think that Cuddy would believe that Wilson got what he deserved. I don’t think she’d have too much sympathy for Wilson because Wilson knows exactly what House is like and if he asked for House’s help, he was asking for disaster, so I didn’t feel too bad having her forgive House quickly.

It was also fun for me to delve a little deeper into House and Wilson’s friendship and what House leaving going to rehab has meant to it. This is a Huddy story, so I really only scratched the surface of the Hilson relationship, but I may, or may not, return to that storyline periodically. I think it’s an interesting story to tell because I see them on the show as about the most co-dependant relationship ever. So, if the thing they were each dependant on was taken away, what would happen to their friendship?

Apparently they will be okay. This was nothing a trip to the sex shop won’t cure I think. Not sure yet if I’m writing that scene. I’d like to, because I think it could be hilarious but I’m not sure how much I’d get away with putting on the Fox board.

Wow did this chapter not go where I’d intended. From the start I had no idea where it was going to go actually. I just started writing it in the hopes that I would find a way to get rid of Foreman. But, as usual, I needed to take up some space. I didn’t have enough for a complete chapter, so I sent House to Wilson’s office, and man did he drop a bombshell. I do not know where the idea for Gabrielle came from. It certainly was never planned. She just sort of popped up out of no where. First named Marcia and fashioned after Marcia from Rock of Love Bus and Charm School (don’t judge!) but then I realized I’d already used her in rehab as part of House’s short lived group therapy. So I had to improvise.

I knew that I was going to have Wilson invite House to dinner with Cuddy and a girlfriend to be determined, a sort of double date. Next thing I knew, he was engaged. Gotta watch that Wilson. He’s a sucker for a damsel in distress. The thing is, as soon as I started to erase it, the meeting with House sprung into my head and I liked it too much to get rid of it. You’ll see it next chapter.

So, with that out of the way, I had to go back to breaking up the ‘family’ aka, House’s team. Time to drop the axe on…Taub? Totally blindsided by that one. I tried to change it to Cuddy making Foreman the offer but that didn’t make sense. Cuddy wouldn’t give House what he wanted that easily. So she made the offer to Taub and naturally he took it. Goodbye Taub as Bosley. And still, how to get rid of Foreman.

I liked the foreplay, er, um, banter between House and Cuddy. Writing their dialog is my favorite part of writing House fanfic. They just play off of each other so well. It’s easy for me to write for them and I’m lazy, so I tend to write for them as often as possible. I know that it is incredibly unprofessional of them to be playing around with the Fellow’s lives for their own little game, but then, I never liked either of them because of how professional they are. That’s not how I see House or Cuddy, as the consummate professional. They have always used manipulation and any means they could in their battles. It endears them to me. I hope that you see the same thing in them. It doesn’t make them bad people, or even bad at their jobs. It just makes them human and, IMO, more interesting.

And, because of the reply I got from a concerned visitor, I discovered there is a spell check button here, so I used it. Yes, I am that absent minded. It’s a byproduct of genius, or so I like to tell myself. Shhh, don’t tell me otherwise.

so, I was replacing the whole team, remember that? Well, things aren’t going according to plan. Taub proved to be more resourceful than I gave him credit for and weasled his way into the new team…for now. This fight isn’t over yet. But in the end, I liked the way it turned out. I hadn’t planned on writing about the firing/quitting but demand was high so I figured I’d try something.

I started writing, hoping something intersting would happen. I wrote out the Foreman convo, knowing he would be the harder of the two but hoping House could push his buttons. It didn’t work so I had House talk to Taub and, surprise, Taub turned the tables on both House and me.

Now, that might sound strange coming from the person writing the story, that I would be surprised by the actions of the characters I’m writing and in a way controlling, but that is how I write. I create the situations for them, but I listen to the characters when it comes to their actions and reactions. As I was writing that part it just came out and I found myself liking the idea. House would be impressed my an offer like that, and he could use it to win points with Cuddy, making her think he was compromising when he was really just accepting Taub’s proposition which in the end would make things easier on him. That’s House’s way. take the easiest path that gives him the best outcome.

As for why he is replacing his staff? I didn’t get as into it in the story as I probably should have but, essentially, looking at the remnants of his old team only serve as a constant reminder of Kutner’s suicide. He’s trying really hard to make changes, and House strikes me as an all or nothing kind of guy. He has to either change almost everything about his life that he can change (I don’t think he can change 3 major things about his life, his job (no one else would hire him), his friendship with Wilson (no one else would put up with him) and his feelings for and need for Cuddy (again with the putting up with him thing but also because his feelings for her are too deep to just go away). What he can change are the faces he sees every day that remind him of Kutner, and Amber, and the darkest time of his life.

House needs a fresh start, or as fresh as he can get, seeing as how he can’t leave behind the only two people who he believes care about him or the job that is all he has in his life. Only time will tell if the revamp of his life will work or if he will fall into his old patterns again.

It sounded so simple when I came up with the idea. As some know, I find the current team, or what’s left of it, terribly dull. Taub is okay, but forgettable, Foreman was great in season one but has fizzled and died and is an empty shell of a character now, and I abhor everything about 13 from the wooden performance to the stupid numeric moniker to the least affective dying storyline I’ve ever seen. So, I got rid of them.

So, who to replace them with. Luckily H&C are chattering away, building a chapter while I try to find just the right team. I know some of what I am looking for. I have characters from other places in mind and am piecing them together to see what I get.

I have always loved House’s interaction with other personality types, which is why the Ducklings: The Next Generation disappointed me. They weren’t different from G1. So, how to find new types of personalities? I started with the one thing sorely lacking on the show. A happy person. My template was Olive Snook from Pushing Daisies. I LOVE Olive, and having her interact with Emmerson made me wonder how she and House would interact. But I wanted her to have a unique spin, something that would pull House in and make him hire her. So I made her a genius albeit a perky, bubbly one.

Another thing I thought would fascinate House’s mind was someone who really didn’t have to work hard but chose to. Not that crap he told Cameron about her being so beautiful she could be a model or a trophy wife because that was far too chavanistic for me. (sorry for the spelling).  So I came up with a trust fund baby, think Paris Hilton with brains. House’s fascination would be why someone who is clearly leeching off daddy’s money with her designer clothes and such can sit around talking about how all she wants to do is help people and make the world a better place. House would be all over that.

So, that left me with a third. At first I thought I might bring Cameron back. Have Chase in the Foreman role (aka Bosley) while Cam and the newbies were his Angel’s. But the show has worn out Cameron. The character is done, as far as I’m concerened. There is nothing more for her on House’s team and nothing more he finds fascinating about her. So I needed a third. Then I got a scathingly brilliant idea.

House likes his hookers. Hookers often work their way through expensive college educations. House likes to make Cuddy jealous. Wouldn’t it be fun if one of the people he hires was a hooker he knew who worked her way through med school on her back? Okay, I think it could be fun. And what I have planned for her should be really fun. (No, House isn’t going to cheat. I feel no need to go there with either House or Cuddy. I don’t think they need all that manufactured break up get together break up get together crap that TV does so often with their OTP.

I feel compelled to have a guy, at least Cuddy will insist on it, so I added Oliver Pike. The name is an homage to Olive Snook. Did you know that a snook is a fish? It is, and it’s related to a pike, so I thought Oliver Pike would be a great name.

I’ve got six total candidates though, so these might not even be the ones I settle on. Who knows. But right now, this looks to be House’s new team.

This is clearly a filler chapter. I hate writing fillers, but sometimes they reveal something useful. In this case, the ‘game’. I wasn’t planning on doing anything with House’s team, but as I started writing the end of this chapter, I realized it was a perfect story. House is supposedly better now. He’s down to two team members, Foreman, whom he didn’t want on his team anymore and Taub. IMO, neither of them have any personality and I don’t like writing for them.

If this were an alternate universe story I would bring back Kutner and Amber but I have a plan about that for another story, so I won’t do it here. I know that some fanfiction readers like all the characters and I usually try to respect that (with the exception of Cameron and 13 whom I just can’t even pretend to like). But I think this is a good time to bring in some new characters.

Who House is, and what House is is changing, at least in my story. He is in a whole new place in his life. He is living with Cuddy, he has a child in his life and he discovered a disease. Why not throw one more thing at him? lol

One of the things I loved most about House was watching him interact with different personality types, which I think is why this last season didn’t do much for me. IMO the new team lack personality, but that is probably best for a different forum than this, so I won’t speak more about it.

I had a huge idea with Rachel that got scratched, but I can’t really say much because it may still happen. At the moment I have two storylines in my mind for her, each is drastically different than the other. I have to take some more time to decide which way I want to go.

My fear is that I will pick one because I don’t have any other ideas for where to take the story. I don’t want them to get married and live happily ever after in a storybook kind of way, but I don’t want to do the break up get together again dance that befalls so many similar couples. So right now, if my writing seems to be wandering, it’s because I’m not entirely sure which way the story is going to go. Any preferences, suggestions, hints would be welcome. I need something that will spark an idea before this becomes one of those stories that just wander off into the sunset unfinished.

Today I am writing smut. I actually started it Saturday night on my iPhone while sitting around a campfire at Jack, Kate and Michele’s joint birthday party. It is annoying that inspiration hits only when it damned well feels like it. I can sit for hours in front of my beautiful new 16″ computer (such a treat after my little 12″ commuter Viao) and nothing happens, then, while drinking some Blue Moon and joking with friends, BAM, it hits, and there I am at the campfire with a puppy on my lap typing away on my iPhone.

Smut is always tricky. I remember my first time (lol). I was so worried about how much was too much detail and was I pushing past smut and into porn. As a teenager I voraciously devoured Harlequin romances, and since that is my reference, that is how I write. I can get quite graphic, though I find that I tend to prefer that level of smut in one shots, as opposed to part of my epic stories. I feel like, most of the time, it disrupts the flow and feels gratuitous, if I go full on pornosmut.

With this chapter, Pashernate Love, what started as raunchy sex turned into yet another trip down memory lane, but I think it makes sense, in the storyline. House is feeling nostalgic, not neccessarily in a good way, but he is in the frame of mind to think about the mistakes he’d made in the past, and one of thoes mistakes was letting Cuddy get away back in college, so I think it made sense to have him go there now.

House doesn’t strike me as the type to open up and talk about himself or his feelings, so I feel like I should strike while the iron is hot as it where. He’s open right now, and I need to take advantage of that before he closes up again. I don’t know that I will have another opportunity to write what started to come out in this chapter.

Well, in the end, it did get pretty smutty. lol What can I say, I like to try to give my audience what they like. Fortunately a portion of my audience is as dirty minded as me.

It’s funny, though, because I have written a LOT of Huddy Smut and it starts to feel redundant to me as a writer. It is hard to think of creative ways to talk about his shaft thrusting into her warm, dark fortress without sounding rediculously cheesy. Actually, it’s the girl bits I have a harder time describing. It’s all so clinical really. lol If only House and Cuddy would act it out for me. I might find it easier to describe if I could see it acted out, don’t you think? *wink wink*

Alas, I hope you enjoy the smut.

Again, another hard chapter to write. I probably shouldn’t have sent House and Cuddy to his mother’s house with no idea what I wanted to accomplish. I’ve been staring at the page for days now, and suddenly tonight it came together, as soon as House walked out the door becuase I didn’t know what else to do with him. Once he was out of the room I was able to dive into his thoughts, into his past.

It was all supposed to come from his mother. She was supposed to tell tales of the boy House once was, but then I realized, she didn’t really know him at all. She couldn’t have. Not and let the abuse suffered by his father go on as if everything were okay, which is the image I have for her.

So I sent House outside, once more unsure what would happen, and he started thinking, which was what I hoped for, but wasn’t sure I could pull off. It doesn’t help that it is almost that time and I get VERY depressed a few days before my dear Aunt Flo comes for her torturous visit. I also don’t have the best relationship with my family, so writing this stuff now has been quite a challenge.

Oddly, it is easier to make House mean to his mother than it was for them to get along. What does that say about me? That’s rhetorical. I know what it says about me. I just prefer to have my peach cobbler and pretend I don’t.

I can’t wait to get this story back to Princeton. It’s time for House and me to put his past behind hm. Time to look to the future, and hopefully some happiness. No more of this menstrual induced morosness.

The twist to this chapter is that, it is only really in Blythe’s mind that House used to be a sweet boy. He wasn’t a horrid child, but the whole point was, and I’m not sure how well I got it across there at the end, she built him up in her mind to this perfect child. She ignored the abuse as ‘tough love’ (really, to me, I think it was a combo. House made it seem worse and Blythe made it seem better than it really was) She didn’t know he was beat up at school because he was a smartass that was ‘asking for it’ as they say. In her mind he was a poor, misunderstood boy.

I really believe that House never was a ‘sweet boy’. He was always House and part of his problem with his mother is, she is the only person who sees him as a sweet boy and a part of him likes it. He likes that there is someone out there who doesn’t know him for he miserable bastard he thinks he is. Maybe it gives him hope. Maybe he wants to share in her delusion and rewrite his own history, but because he is such a smart, practical man, he can’t get himself to believe it and he envies her. Or maybe I’m just making it all up. Who knows? lol